I was on the phone with a good PR friend (mother of 1), of mine and telling her about my new adventure as a "Stay-at-home-Mom, Home-Schoolmaster, Designer, Writer, Wife, Lover, Food burner (really I am NO good with the oven UNLESS it involves Salmon or cakes...), etc., etc.”,. And I am telling her that it is challenging to do this while I am constantly screaming at one kid, training another, teaching my oldest girl how to "pointe" her toes while dancing, turning up Yo, Gabba, Gabba (that show rocks), breaking up fights, cleaning up after a 1 year old's fascinationwith "let's throw the DVD's around" and the occasional crying over spilled milk - lliterally. She thinks I should film the fiasco. At any given moment you can find me curled up in a ball amid the madness...Well, at least my husband has. And he just steps right over me and shakes his head! - He tries.
I kid you not - every time I sit down at this computer, my lovely little 1 year old, Bird sees an opportunity to start crying...for what? I never know what! I think she see's the computer as an evil force that has taken control of her Mommy! She takes the mouse, she wants to type, she turns the computer off! You, know the little round blue button that is soooo attractive to babies. They should change that glowing wonder-ness. And don't get me started on my youngest son, Tech. He is undergoing the middle-child syndrome when in fact I did not think there was a middle-child in an even set of kids...
And when I get on the phone - watch out! It is like they all have a condition - "Mommy, my head hurts, "- He hit me” , “Mommy, Mommy...Mommy!" It reaches a crescendo, a chorus of loudness at a time when listening and understanding requires absolute, quite-ness! And so - I run! I run anywhere I can. Into the bedroom and lock the doors, hopefully the muffled "Mommy's" cannot be heard. I run out the back door, through the dog area and into the woods! I run out the bedroom sliding doors that lead to the back yard - but the older ones, Littles and Leo - race from the front door to meet me. If they do, I give them the glare - you know, the look of "You better leave me alone!" And they take off running back inside. I take off running and hide with the horses, or however far the phone will range.
My brother-in-law's wife thinks that that is why I cannot keep the baby weight on. I am constantly running after or away from the kids! Trust me the scene is instantly hilarious. The moment little Bird starts the cry I call on my husband and like a switch, she shuts off - it's the Father's secret weapon that Mother's just don't posses. Once I hid in the closet while on the phone with my writing partner and the kids had found a way to attempt to trash the place. And the Husband was furious -
"Why are you in the closet?" He yelled.
"Because I am trying to talk on the phone and it's important!" -
"Who hides in a closet? How can you know what's going on?"
Well, I replied "-That's the point!"
Now I don't want you to think I have a horde of uncontrollable children - well, let's just say that when I am in the zone - I have control over NOTHING! I cannot manage all things the same when I am zoning like I am on this business plan. I am a whole other person that can't understand where all these kids came from!
When I come to, I realize that they are ALL my children! But no matter what I am working on, no matter how stressful they make me at times (the eye-twitches), they are my wonderful, funny, loving, growing at a rapid-rate, sponges and they take in everything so I have to be careful that they don't see me freak out, I LOVE MY KIDS! They drive us insane, there is never a day to ourselves in our own bed - broken back and all, our kids are our lifeline and we wouldn't change that for the world. And yes, they do make me hide! And at this very moment, Bird is crying out “'mon, Mommy, 'mon, Mommy...” and I can hear my husband in the background yelling “Song Bird! Shut...”
Posts
